Happy Fangsgivings

moar funny pictures

Read Full Post »

I’ll Take a Gallon in Mauve

The mother of a friend of mine went paint shopping at the store that rhymes with MallCart. She was trying to decide what she needed when an associate walked up and asked if he could help.
“Um, yes. Can you tell me what the difference is between the flat paint and the satin?”
“Well, ma’am, ya’ see, [...]

Read Full Post »

Dinner and… a Sugar Coma?

Just for the record, if you come to my house for dinner, and you are, say, allergic to peanuts? I will not serve you a pb&j and say, “just scrape off the peanut butter and eat the jelly side.” If you are watching your carbs, I won’t give you creamy, crusty chicken pot pie and say, “pick [...]

Read Full Post »

Geekiness Revealed

I closed the bathroom window today and almost immediately heard a THUMP from the other side as a cat tried to jump in it. How wrong is it that my first thought was, “Whoops. Somebody just hit the iris.”?

Read Full Post »

It’s a Real Cadillac

The bike ROX. Holy freakin’ cow..the shock absorbers? Never has a butt felt better on a built-for-men bicycle seat. You know those seats are used as torture devices in 3rd world countries, right? They get in places…well… you can imagine. So I got out on this thing, and I rediscovered childhood, I think, minus the [...]

Read Full Post »

Things I didn’t say today. Volume Four.

YOU are the reason I don’t tell people anything!!
Funny, when YOU are having a conversation with somebody, I don’t interrupt. It never occurred to me to make faces behind YOUR back…(to a 52-yr-old man).
Dear GOD, can you SMELL yourself?
Did you know your perfume completely filled this 1800 sq. ft. room? Thanks. My Excedrin bottle thanks you, too.
Could [...]

Read Full Post »

John Deere Green…or not

I met a farmer on the road.
Where he stopped, I’ll never know.
On his tractor, small and red,
With his cell stuck to his head.
I don’t know why I never thought
That Farmer John just might have bought
A cell phone, ipod, mp3
In this most modern century.
I guess that it just struck me odd
That he who works beneath the sod
Would [...]

Read Full Post »