The Handyman Cometh … Not

If I think about things too long, I wind up needing to take an axe to a tree. I used to do that in a house I rented 20 years ago. There was a dead tree in the back yard which the homeowner didn’t want to take down, so when I got particularly angry about [...]

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Mea Culpa

God is going to get good and tired of me railing on Him when crap goes wrong. But apparently He is in a good mood at the moment, and somebody has been praying for me HARD. In the midst of my grief over losing not one, but four kittens in one day, I said some [...]

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Tree Woman Strikes Again

Many years ago I pulled down half a tree with my bare hands in front of a couple of smart-alec witnesses. I have been “Tree Woman” ever since. It’s a mark of two things, I guess, stupid impulsivity and a do-it-myself attitude. Plus, it’s funny to some people. Go figure.
So yesterday I noticed that my [...]

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Thought Stew

Some posts need to be written immediately, and others need to simmer in their own juices to be fully flavored. The problem with simmering is that I have completely forgotten every single thing I was gonna write. You know, cuz I’m retarded like that. Today’s post is gonna be a bunch of brain farts, since [...]

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Once More, From the Top.

Hey, if you have a sec? Click on the photos in the post below and vote for my babies. I wanna make it to the voting page at least. Click on the cheezburgers to rate them. Thanks.
So last Friday I was invited to lunch. Yeah, I know, my sparkling conversational skillz keep me busy. Anyway, [...]

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Dinner and… a Sugar Coma?

Just for the record, if you come to my house for dinner, and you are, say, allergic to peanuts? I will not serve you a pb&j and say, “just scrape off the peanut butter and eat the jelly side.” If you are watching your carbs, I won’t give you creamy, crusty chicken pot pie and say, “pick [...]

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It’s Always Brattiest Before the Repairman

Larry and Curly came to my house today to fix my washing machine. Moe stayed at the shop. He’s the brains of the bunch, and he was most DEFINITELY not here today. By way of backstory, I was getting ready to go out of town last Thursday, mistake #1, and the load of very necessary clothes [...]

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When the Bough Breaks

The worst part about being right all the time is being right all the time. Every now and then I’d really like the opportunity to be surprised by my own happiness. I’d love to have more of it, I mean, and suprise myself by not facing doom and despair. I live in the town of Melo [...]

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Like a Hole in the Head

Guess. Go on, guess. Besides the obvious “more corpses,” try to guess the one thing I do not need, and no cracks about my butt. Ha. If you said, “a man!” you’d be terribly, cruelly wrong. If, however, you said, “another hunter!” you, shiny pretty person, win the brass ring.
I stepped out to go to [...]

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Another Day’s News

He: “Thanks for helping me out today. I want to buy you dinner tonight. I was thinking a steak.”
Me: “Ok. Where? ‘Cheap Steaks R Us’?”
He: “‘Cheap Steaks R Us’ or ‘We Got Great Ribs,’ either one.”
Me: “Ok, well, ‘Great Ribs’ will be busy on a Friday night, but I need to do some things in [...]

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