It started so innocently. It was just hamburgers and chips, and then the conversation turned to science class and… well, maybe I should start at the beginning. I’ll keep it short. Promise.
I went to dinner at a friend’s house last night, and his brother and niece came over. Dinner was wonderful: we ate, we laughed, it was a good thing. Brother and wife are both science teachers at the local college, and niece is in her mother’s freshman science class. This is where it gets hairy. Um… no pun intended.
It seems mom had invited a guest speaker to teach human reproduction, and THAT conversation, with dad across the table, was hilarity in its’ own right. Everything from the teacher’s baby being born breech, a case of, as her hubby described it, “the kid telling the world to kiss his butt before he got here,” to the ensuing drug-resistant staff infection the mom picked up during the birth. Did I mention we had ice cream? And brownies? After that lovely bit of imagery, the other 4 of us at the table learned of Naked Ed.
Daughter said, and I quote: “They warned us about him, but they said he usually wears a loincloth. When we got there, he turned around to face us and say hello, and Naked Ed was naked.” “It was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen, and I don’t want to see another one as long as I live.” Now, I have to tell you, Dad knew about Ed already. He was not in the least bit bothered that Middle Daughter-Child had encountered this dude. I’ll chalk that up to the scientist in him, and give him credit for being modern. And progressive. And a little delusional.
Anyway, Uncle was turning purple to keep from laughing. I nearly fell outta my chair – I know you had to be there, but this girl is one of the sweetest, most innocent people I know, and the tale of her trying to NOT. LOOK. had us all in stitches. The best part was the fact that he was on a cell phone while they were there. She couldn’t figure out where he kept it.
It got a little creepy when she said Ed has pics of people on his wall in the “spare” loincloth he has managed to talk them into trying on. Ed is not an ideal citizen, I am thinking.
Another part of me has already Googled his hut.
Anybody up for a road trip? I hear middle Florida is LOVELY this time of year.
Loincloth optional, of course.