How to Look Good Naked??

Oh. My. Gosh. I can NOT imagine walking out onto a city street and seeing my body, headless or not, plastered on the side of a building. Who thinks this crap up?? Better question? What kind of messed up desperate for help must you be in order to STAY when a guy says to you, “take off the clothes,” while camerapeople watch? Oh, HELL to the no. I can’t imagine answering that ad in the first place. I have to give those women props, though. Honestly. Standing there and facing a less-than-airbrushed body in a mirror is bad enough in my own bathroom. The courage it would take to go on tv is just…well, I wouldn’t be there, is all. More power to ’em.

You know these women had no idea what they were getting into, because when they are encouraged to take it off for the camera shoot, they look shocked. They are great actresses if they DO know that’s part of the deal ahead of time.  

Do they get paid to do that? I just don’t know how many zeros it would take. Seriously. I KNOW people who watch that show. I have friends I could never look in the eye again, EVER. Sheesh.

Have we established that I won’t be seen on a stripper pole any time soon? Good. Just to be clear.

Heh.

I know my UPS guy is really getting tired of me. He’s probably thinking, “Dang, woman. Make a freakin’ LIST.”  I singlehandedly kept half a fleet employed for the holidays. Somebody should stop me. Really. Please. I do not need a Hannukah CD from Amazon. I also don’t need those two adorable cat pins that are calling to me in their cuteness from the Animal Rescue Site. Most of all? I do NOT need that pound of gourmet chocolates or the vacuum-packed Memphis ribs, or… well, you get the idea. I am highly suggestible.

It’s NOT all about the O.