Can I Just Go Back to Bed, Please?

Let me apologize ahead of time for the disgusting content of today’s post. If you are a parent, most likely nothing can turn your stomach, so read on. If you are a pet owner, you’ll understand. If you are neither, you miiiiight wanna come back another day. Heh.

I have one room in my house that doesn’t smell like cat poop. Yes, you’re welcome. How about dinner Saturday night? No? Well, ok, then. No, it’s not a result of my shabby housekeeping (which surely COULD be an “issue,” AHEM), but rather the result of one or two tiny little balls of fur who refuse to use ANY of the THREE litter boxes I have placed throughout the house for their tiny little convenience. There’s yet another who refuses to cover up what he does, but at least it’s in the box. Little Minnie, who is so stinkin’ adorable in every other way (pun TOTALLY intended), will walk right past a box and into the living room, announcing that she HAS. TO. GO. She then scurries past my frantic hands and craps on the wires behind the tv. Motherhood is such a joy.

Such was the scene one night about 2am when I completely lost it. The front door was open, and since no one called the sheriff or 911 or even peeked out a window to make sure I was ok, I am relatively sure a band of roving monkeys could kill me where I lie without having to be careful about the noise. There was gnashing and bad words and crying and screaming. It was not pretty, and in the end I still had to clean up a shudder-inducing pile woven among 4 different wires. I felt stupid for screaming, but seeing as how sitting in the floor pulling my hair out in fistfuls wouldn’t make it go away, it was the best I could do.

The worst part is when I go out for a few hours and come back to a wall of poo odor. It’s like having a houseful of guys eating kielbasa and playing poker, only worse. Let me tell you, it ain’t cute. I have dark brown floors and bad lighting, so it’s REALLY HARD TO SEE what needs to be picked up. They love the edges of the walls, so the only saving grace of this is that I don’t really have to worry about “finding it with my feet.”

I can’t WAIT to go to NY for three days. OMG. Just imagining the homecoming makes me want to stay home.

OK, gotta get a shower and load the truck. I’m taking round one of packed boxes to storage today. I did a really dumb thing and offered to buy a washer/dryer combo from some people who are moving, only to find out that the house I am going to buy (fingers crossed) is including the w/d. Of course. They were unable to find another buyer, which isn’t my problem, but I’m gonna be nice and maybe just resell them if I don’t use them. My washer here at the hacienda cries when I go near it, so I may still have a use for the “new” one.

Ya gotta love the universe, no?

Well then. Have a great day, peeps! (I just typed “peepees,” which totally fits the post. Criminy.)