Are You SURE She Means ME?

Um, I think most of you know by now that my opinion of myself is rather low on the scale.  It may or may not have been suggested that my brain be airbrushed to give me some semblance of self-esteem. In spite of that, I reported a few weeks ago that I have possibly made a new friend. Well, y’all, it’s official. I am a 12-yr-old girl.

I swear I feel like the kid who finally got picked first in dodgeball. Why? Well, somebody came up to me today and told me this awesome person was looking forward to getting to know me.  OMG, how lame am I that I giggled OUT LOUD?!? Yes, I’d LOVE to trade unicorn stickers and glitter pens with you! Say, Saturday, after Bratz? Check yes or no. Apparently I, the wallflower, have managed to attract a nice person IRL instead of sending her running away. It doesn’t hurt that she’s very smart and very funny and VERY MUCH LIKE ME without the whole self-hatred thing. Her children think I hung the moon, too, which is… um… good? Yes?

Y’all, it might be… just maybe… that things are looking up. Now if I could get a couple of my cyber friends here, too, we could totally take this burg and give it a shade of red even the devil could appreciate.

Later. *giggle*

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What I Seem to Forget

Things will work out the way they are supposed to be. I forget that I have no debt on this house, that I can rent it if need be. When I talked to the realtor today about backing out of the house deal, she completely understood, and reassured me that stuff happens all the time. Five minutes after we hung up, she called back and suggested I rent the new house until I can sell the old one. DUH. She can put a tenant in there in a couple of hours. The bank thinks the extra financed amount will be ok, and somebody has 3 free rooms of brand new carpet to give away that I can put in the bedrooms. It has actually already been claimed by somebody who also doesn’t need it, and who has told me it’s mine if I want it.

I am truly afraid to be excited.

It seems like an easy decision, and it would be if I had a real job or a mate. It’s scary as heck to know I’m the buck’s wall. It stops full force with me. Urghhhhh.

*gnawing fingernails*

OK. I’m gonna do it.

Wish me luck.

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Monday, Day 2, Redux

My buyers backed out. I can’t move. I am stuck here in the little backwater hole known as… well, known as Hell right now. I am at a loss. No clue what to do. I could swing the mortgage on the new place without this sale, but not the repairs and upgrades needed. I’d be moving into something that isn’t a huge step up, except for the roof and outside vinyl. I…I… dangit. I can NOT do this. I can’t stay here.

*ranting inside, trying not to do anything stupid, really, RILLY wanting to cry*

Crap a monkey.

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Fringe Benefits

Sometimes words aren’t really necessary. In one of the houses I visited today:

I think that pretty much sums up my housing choices.

To be fair, I found a couple of places, but the nicer ones were still shoeboxes built on postage stamps, and I just can’t cram myself into either. The one perfect find is a mobile home, and the bank won’t finance the balance because of that. So, I keep looking, I guess.

For a glorious half hour, I thought I was out.

Stink.

OH! It was a good trip, tho. I really like my realtor. He’s a hoot. When the time is right, the house will be there. I just know it.

Later, Me

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