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Archive for the ‘The Everyday’ Category

Followups

In Addendum to yesterday’s letter writing campaign…

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Dear Amazon,

STOP TAUNTING ME. In a moment of despair over having to wait 3 whole months to watch the entire series Six Feet Under because Netflix is my pimp, I shopped. I typed in a title and decided that I should just have patience. Your offers, they slay me. I know you think it’s AWESOME SAUCE that you are willing to offer, say, 32 CENTS off your regular price and call that a Deal O’ the Day, but YOU PEOPLE are SMOKING something, I KNOW it. I also realize that once, ONCE, I shopped for a camera lens. I am not going to BUY a camera lens. I don’t own the camera that requires one, and frankly, I feel a little stalked. Go away before I have to call somebody or something.

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Dearest little Guardboy Samson,

OK, OK. I get it. You have made it your job to leave your warm, squishy bed at night and come sit outside the front door until I go to bed, so that you can protect me from the raving, savage opossums that wander by, and the teenagers making out in the parking lot next door. Maybe perhaps I oughta show you some pictures of REAL DANGERS so that you may make an informed decision of when to bark, but I suspect you’d just chew them to bits, so have at it. I salute you. I don’t know what inspires your loyalty, but I am grateful. Have an old shoe on me, k?

******

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Dear. Oh, Dear…

Dear Kitten-kitten, which will be your name until you decide to show me parts that allow me to call you something more fitting,

I am tres happi that you have made yourself at home. It has come to my attention, however, that time, she is passing quickly, and the day is approaching when your gender will no longer be in question. That cannot be. It is time that you embrace not ONLY the house with the toys and the nifty hiding places and the noms that MAGICALLY appear, but also the Big One who provides those noms and the shiny clean place for you to poop. (Thank you for making use of that without encouragement, by the way.) (more…)

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Neighbors, Again

I don’t want to leave my reader(s) with the impression that all my neighbors have sucked. Oh, no, dear sweet patience… some have been rather.. um.. interesting.

(more…)

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Current Events

Recently around the hacienda. Enjoy.
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Ok, South GA and everybody else got this. I have just never driven while it was falling. Very pretty. Treacherous, but oh, so pretty. There’s a guy to my left you can’t see, but you might be able to hear him swearing at me to put the camera down.

I had to be out and about during the best photographic part of the storm, but there was still something to see when I got home.

Even Satan’s dog got in on it…

Mr. Happy, aka Samson, after the exorcism…

Chow-bulldog mix much? That tongue keeps getting blacker, perhaps a holdover from the possession.

Not holy water, but just as fun…

And finally… oh, to have such joy.

Happy New Week, y’all! Later!

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Bad Fences Make…?

Given my currents state of hermitude, maybe talking about neighbors is not such a good idea. I found myself wide awake with my eyes closed at 4 am, thinking of all the people with whom I’ve shared a square block, and honestly, I don’t know how I didn’t become the Cat Lady sooner. I’m in the market for a queen-sized cardigan, if you know where I can find one.

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Samson Takes A Stand

The dog has a name, and it is Fierce Warrior Dog Who Defends His New Home. Samson for short. (more…)

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Saturday evening I looked out my back door. I don’t know why. I so seldom do stupid things like that, but this time something looked back. (more…)

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“Unless sperm have figured out a way to travel through a pair of jeans, hop across a table and crawl up my pants leg into my very inhospitable lady parts, you may NOT run a pregnancy test.” (more…)

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The Call of the Open Road

There’s something inherently lonely in the whine of rubber on asphalt. I-75 was less than a mile from my home growing up, and I lay awake many nights listening to the big rigs pass through town. Maybe I noticed because my father spent much of my childhood on that road behind the wheel of a Peterbilt, trying to provide for his small family, and as I got older I wondered at the people who were content (or forced) to be away from home after midnight. Vague memories of late-night phone calls from police and hospitals were enough to make me both hate and adore 18-wheelers – their size and power were awesome to a 5-year-old, but the traction and doctor visits they caused shaped my youth for the worse. (more…)

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Rainy Days…

A day in the life…

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