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Keeping my mouth shut is usually a good thing. Sometimes it might be better to open up and speak my mind. This was one of those days.

“Thank You, God, for this most amazing day.”
“Good boy! You stayed out of the road!”
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“Do you EVER say no? Cuz seriously, if that child gets the crap knocked out of him when he has to actually interact with the real world, it will be your fault. Put THAT in your therapy pipe and smoke it.”

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The $125 Oil Change

I know it is normal practice for women to let men change the oil in their vehicles, I do, even if it means paying strangers money to do it. I HATE those guys, tho, cuz they always try to sell me stuff I don’t need, and I feel guilty for saying no. A while back I bought the filter and the oil to do it myself, and frankly, never did. The filter sat on my dining room table, mocking me, reminding me that I am more or less a lazy sot. It was a very LOUD filter, that one. On Monday, I decided to shut it up. Continue Reading »

Followups

In Addendum to yesterday’s letter writing campaign…

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Dear Amazon,

STOP TAUNTING ME. In a moment of despair over having to wait 3 whole months to watch the entire series Six Feet Under because Netflix is my pimp, I shopped. I typed in a title and decided that I should just have patience. Your offers, they slay me. I know you think it’s AWESOME SAUCE that you are willing to offer, say, 32 CENTS off your regular price and call that a Deal O’ the Day, but YOU PEOPLE are SMOKING something, I KNOW it. I also realize that once, ONCE, I shopped for a camera lens. I am not going to BUY a camera lens. I don’t own the camera that requires one, and frankly, I feel a little stalked. Go away before I have to call somebody or something.

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Dearest little Guardboy Samson,

OK, OK. I get it. You have made it your job to leave your warm, squishy bed at night and come sit outside the front door until I go to bed, so that you can protect me from the raving, savage opossums that wander by, and the teenagers making out in the parking lot next door. Maybe perhaps I oughta show you some pictures of REAL DANGERS so that you may make an informed decision of when to bark, but I suspect you’d just chew them to bits, so have at it. I salute you. I don’t know what inspires your loyalty, but I am grateful. Have an old shoe on me, k?

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Dear. Oh, Dear…

Dear Kitten-kitten, which will be your name until you decide to show me parts that allow me to call you something more fitting,

I am tres happi that you have made yourself at home. It has come to my attention, however, that time, she is passing quickly, and the day is approaching when your gender will no longer be in question. That cannot be. It is time that you embrace not ONLY the house with the toys and the nifty hiding places and the noms that MAGICALLY appear, but also the Big One who provides those noms and the shiny clean place for you to poop. (Thank you for making use of that without encouragement, by the way.) Continue Reading »

Neighbors, Again

I don’t want to leave my reader(s) with the impression that all my neighbors have sucked. Oh, no, dear sweet patience… some have been rather.. um.. interesting.

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Current Events

Recently around the hacienda. Enjoy.
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Ok, South GA and everybody else got this. I have just never driven while it was falling. Very pretty. Treacherous, but oh, so pretty. There’s a guy to my left you can’t see, but you might be able to hear him swearing at me to put the camera down.

I had to be out and about during the best photographic part of the storm, but there was still something to see when I got home.

Even Satan’s dog got in on it…

Mr. Happy, aka Samson, after the exorcism…

Chow-bulldog mix much? That tongue keeps getting blacker, perhaps a holdover from the possession.

Not holy water, but just as fun…

And finally… oh, to have such joy.

Happy New Week, y’all! Later!